Grandpa Bill

He's sick.  Very much so.  We're expecting that at any time we'll hear he passed.  I hope not of course and God can pull him through If it's his will.  But I sure wish I could take you to visit.  It would make him so happy.  He loved family and always enjoyed visiting with us.  He loved you boys. I feel bad we didn't make more efforts to see him,  or to invite him over,  while we could.  Life is fleeting.  You never know when you see a person, if it could be your last chance to see them.  To tell them how you feel.  Or just chat.  I hope at some point you all learn not to take for granted the time we had.  Who would have thought there'd be a morning that I wouldn't wake to hearing laughter or arguments.  That I wouldn't celebrate muffin Mondays or toast Tuesdays or waffle Wednesdays.  That I wouldn't be able to kiss you good night.  One day,  unexpectedly,  something you held dear is Gone and you are left with the emptiness instead. I just believe in holding on to faith, leaning on God, putting one foot before another.  One day we will be with Christ in heaven, all will be laid before him,  and we will know peace have we lived for him. God's will be gone.  I love you all.  Every moment of every day. With every breath and every beat of my heart.

Mom in another silly hat

Yeah. .. Your mom can't resist putting funny things on my head.

Mom in a silly hat

I get the weirdest things at work and of course I wear them!

Miss you

Missing you more than you know.  Wishing I could see you in your costumes.  Go freeze my butt off taking you trick or treating.  I love you all so very very much.  My heart aches for wanting to just simply say. .. I love you.

The Heart ache of the day.

My heart aches all the time.  Never stops. I'm strong but sometimes I wish I wasn't.  In the words of Mother Theresa  "God doesn't give us more than we can handle. But I wish he didn't trust me so much" I get tired sometimes but then he reminds me I'm not alone in this.  I have to lean on him and trust.  I know it's a hard thing to do,  let go of control.  But I pray that you boys learn the lesson easier than I have.  But you have my stubbornness and your dad's self confidence so.  It isn't likely. But please have faith.  Know that just as God is here and loves you. . so do I.

My heart

I will never give up until I take my last breath.  I love you with my very essence.  Forever and eternity.  One day you will know.  You will see.

Guess what?

I'm sending you boys a package.  This is a sneak peek.